“Little House” actress urges peace between Bonnetheads and Gableheads

PRAIRIE PEACEMAKER -- Little House actress Alison Arngrim, aka "Nellie Oleson," wants to avoid an ugly lunchbox war between American and Canadian braided girls

A CULTURE SCHLOCK EXCLUSIVE

“Little House on the Prairie” star Alison Arngrim still revels in her notoriety as the archnemesis of America’s Sweetheart.

Personally, I love actors who have fun with the roles that made them famous and don’t whine about being “typecast,” as if that were as bad as contracting malaria. Like Barry Williams (Greg Brady) and Dawn Wells (Maryann from Gilligan’s Island), Arngrim doesn’t take her fame too seriously. Why else would she name her one-woman comedy show “Confessions of a Prairie Bitch?”

For the record, it’s called “Confessions D’une Garce De La Prairie” when she is performing in France.

So, when I asked Alison to weigh in on the war between Laura Ingalls and “Anne of Green Gables” fans, I was shocked by her Gandhi-like ways.

Nellie Oleson used to pull braids. Now she believes there should be braid solidarity. Here’s her email:

“Obviously I am totally biased. I will always side with my Bonnet-Headed brethren on this one!

(To be fair, I did do one performance — a buyers’ showcase evening — of a proposed musical of “Anne of Green Gables.” – I played the “Mrs. Oleson” position on the Anne team: Busybody Rachel Lynde.)

It’s true: Laura is a real person, Anne is a figment of the imagination.

But I am somewhat conflicted over this issue as I am an American, but my family is Canadian. “Little House” the ultimate American story by American author Laura Ingalls Wilder VS “Anne” of Prince Edward Island, written by a big old Canuck, Lucy Maud Montgomery.

I can see where divisive issues of the most base nationalism could arise! I have awful visions of braided girls massing along our border to fling little tin lunch pails and slates at one another! We must nip this bigotry and hatred in the bud!

The bonnet heads of both nations must unite! We can look to our brothers and sisters in Japan, who love Laura and Anne equally, without shame or division!

Cannot Laura and Anne be “bosom friends?”

Signed,

Alison (who will no doubt be committed for good after people see this letter!) Arngrim

If you would like to declare your devotion to either Laura Ingalls or Anne Shirley, it is not too late to vote.

The many moods of Nellie Oleson, aka Alison Arngrim