Senator Kerry: I’ll frame your article about my vanity and add it to my Ego Wall!

It doesn’t get any more meta than this.

U.S. Sen. John Kerry’s office embraces his #1 vanity ranking in the Senate, AND he vows to frame the article for his already-overcrowded Ego Wall in Washington.

Along with photographer Ilya Mirman, I determined the level of conceit and self-worship in all 100 senators. We counted the number of times they hung up pictures of themselves, giving special weight to poses with world leaders, U.S. presidents and celebrities we could recognize.

It is the first mathematical formula in history to accurately measure and compare political egos.

Kerry’s spokesperson, Whitney Smith, defended Kerry’s shrine-like office decor (which includes 99 pictures of himself on the wall) in an interview with the Boston Herald.

“Make no mistake, John Kerry absolutely pleads guilty to loving his late friends Ted Kennedy and Tim Russert, and working with Bono to combat AIDS in Africa and negotiating with President Karzai in Afghanistan to save the 2009 election,” she said. “If that’s vanity, bring it on!”

In fact, said Smith, the senator would go one better! To celebrate his No. 1 finish, “we plan to get pictures taken with the 99 runners-up.” What’s more, she said, “we plan to take a picture of this article and hang it on our wall.”

Oh yeah, Whitney, well we plan to take a picture of your framed article and hang it on our wall.

I do love how she takes ownership over the Ego Wall, but using my favorite cheerleading movie’s “Bring It On” challenge is a bit too much.

If you are in the mood for a little calculus, here’s a glimpse of The Vanity Formula. Click on the equation for a full explanation!


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Filed under Election 2010, politics, Vanity Index

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