Beauty, Brains & Burps (and Why the Secret to World Peace is Playing Footsies!)

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LOOK, IT’S AN ONION! — Miss Universe Ghana Abena Appiah won’t be losing any points for enthusiasm. (Source: Instagram/@AbenaAkuaba)

For her exceptional ability to grill vegetables alone, I will be rooting for Miss Ghana Abena Appiah tonight to win it all at the Miss Universe Pageant.

I had the surreal experience of “competing” with Miss Ghana on the same “runway” last fall, an experience which I just spun into a humor column for CNN, “Can the Miss Universe Pageant Save the World?

In the column, I express admiration for Ms. Appiah’s ability to “burp more than 50 times in a row,” which she brags about on her official Miss Universe bio. Would be awesome if this skill is showcased during the talent competition.

Darren Garnick Humor Column CNN Tweet
If burping contests cannot bring nations closer together, perhaps there is hope in giving world leaders matching socks. Look at the amazing impact this tactic had on Miss Turkey and Miss Italy, who wound up playing footsies with their Miss Universe sashes at their “Roomie-Pajama Party.”

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Exclusive Photos of the Miss Turkey-Miss Italy “Roomie-Pajama Party.”  Source: Facebook/Miss Universe (Click to enlarge)

Italy and Turkey last went to war in 1911 (the Italo-Turkish War), battling for the North African Turkish provinces of Tripolitana and Cyrenaica, which are part of modern Libya. Italy ultimately prevailed, whetting their appetite for future expansionist aggression in World War II.

But after a pajama party, all is forgotten.

Whattya say, Miss Lebanon and Miss Israel?

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Filed under CNN Columns, Miss Universe

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