Planet Fitness Will NEVER Judge Me

Deliberate Typo — Planet Fitness spells “judgment” as “JUDGEment” as a branding thing. Click on the pic to fund out why this distinction matters. (New Hampshire Magazine illustration by Brad Fitzpatrick)

So, after months of not using my Planet Fitness membership, I walked in tonight, stared the front desk guy in the eyes and asked, “Are you REALLY a No Judgment Zone?” I told him I hadn’t gone to the gym in months but needed a new membership tag.

I was not judged. Then, I used the bathroom, walked a lap around to see some of the machines I am not using and then walked out the door so I could go pick up my daughter. The guy at the desk did not give me a judgmental look at all.

During last January’s New Year’s Resolution season, I wrote about my “Weighting For Validation” for New Hampshire Magazine, exploring the popular gym chain’s ban on locker room scales to protect their customers’ body image. Really.

I wondered then as I wonder now: Would Planet Fitness judge me if I stood there and proceeded to eat purple Tootsie Roll after purple Tootsie Roll (their trademark promotional gimmick) from the reception desk candy dish — and then considered my workout complete? Still LOVE those Tootsie Rolls, though I didn’t see any when I got my new membership card. Hope they haven’t scrapped the program.

Weight Loss Innovation: Ignore Reality

Scales are banned at Planet Fitness --Tootsie Rolls are not. (NH Magazine/Brad Fitzpatrick)

Forget about counting calories…  Here’s a New Year’s resolution you are guaranteed to keep: Don’t weigh yourself.

Scales are banned at Planet Fitness, an otherwise stellar institution that gives out free pizza and purple Tootsie Rolls and doesn’t screw you with outrageously high membership fees.

People who say they don’t want to be defined by a number are living in La-La Land. Find out why by reading “Weighting for Validation,” my latest “Last Laugh” column for New Hampshire Magazine.

(Note: Brad Fitzpatrick is the same talented illustrator behind the clever Forbidden Fish Pedicure cartoon for NH Magazine).