2 Billy Joel Songs You Should NOT Dance To

Allentown

Question for Billy Joel fans who were at Fenway Park last night. WHY do people dance to “Allentown,” a song about the collapse of the American economy and vanishing middle class? And for God’s sake, why do people dance to “Goodnight Saigon” about Vietnam?

ALLENTOWN

“Well we’re living here in Allentown
And they’re closing all the factories down
Out in Bethlehem they’re killing time
Filling out forms
Standing in line”

GOODNIGHT SAIGON

“Remember Charlie, remember Baker
They left their childhood on every acre
And who was wrong? And who was right?
It didn’t matter in the thick of the fight”

Verdict: Not danceable.

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Filed under Billy Joel Songs You Shouldn't Dance To, Uncategorized

How many motorists must die to get Xander Bogaerts in the All Star Game?

Xander Bogaerts All Star Voting Highway Sign

Let’s get one thing out of the way before I go on my rant: Red Sox shortstop Xander Bogaerts deserves to be playing on the American League All Star team.  He’s the best clutch-hitting shortstop in the game this year.

But why the hell is the Massachusetts Highway Department encouraging motorists to text or tweet their votes for Xander?  I just saw this hashtag appeal on electronic signs over Route 2 West and Route 3 North during my commute home tonight.

In New Hampshire, they just passed a “Hands-Free” law requiring motorists to keep their phones away from the steering wheel. In Massachusetts, they’re imploring us to visit Twitter instead of keeping our eyes on the tractor trailer in the left lane.

How many motorists must die before Red Sox justice is served?

P.S. This is more of a PR issue than a public safety concern, but the so-called “alliance” between the Red Sox and Dodgers to vote for each other’s players is pathetic and bordering on begging. Xander Bogaerts and Clayton Kershaw both deserve to keep their dignity.

#XanderDoesn’tPander

Vote Bogaerts for 2015 All-star game

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Filed under Red Sox Schlock

Daughters of the American Revolution loosen their admission requirements

Daughters of the American Revolution Parade 2015 cropped

Breaking news! The DAR has now extended full membership privileges to Sons of the Russian Shtetl.

Remember, you saw it here first.

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Filed under Election 2016, politics

Are we bad luck charms for the 2015 Boston Red Sox?

DustinPedroiaHeightChart

Consider this: Every time that Erik and I have posed with the Dustin Pedroia height chart at Fenway Park, he has gone on the disabled list. Mere minutes after this photograph was taken, the Sox second baseman pulled his hamstring.

Granted, this has only happened once, but I wonder if we might be bad karma for the 2015 last-place Red Sox?

I say this despite once having the following riveting conversation with Pedroia in a hotel lobby:

Me: “Hey, good game tonight!”

Pedroia: (Making direct eye contact) “Thanks.”

That historic moment was documented on CNN if you’d like to learn more.

 

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Filed under Red Sox Schlock, Sports Psychology

Boy Scout Bruce Jenner

Bruce Jenner Boy Scout ad-web

From my childhood autograph collection. I think they had one of these ads for President Gerald Ford and home run champ Hank Aaron, too.

When you help start a Boy Scout troop, there’s no guarantee you’ll grow up to star on a cheesy E! reality show after winning the Olympic Decathlon. But you never know.

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Filed under Sports

If Clark Kent Were Created Today, He’d Be a Content Marketing Specialist

Copyediting used to be as important as punching bad guys in the face.

Copyediting used to be as important as punching bad guys in the face.

Motivated by my children’s need to eat, I left the world of print journalism long ago. Maybe saying I “fled” the world of print journalism is more accurate. But I still reflexively cringe every time newspapers take a beating.

Via industry sage Jim Romenesko, I just learned that Newspaper Reporter was just ranked the “Worst Job of 2015” out of 200 professions. Here are the Best and Worst Job Choices of 2015, based on a study by CareerCast.com:

Best Jobs of 2015 vs. How They Fared in 2014 (With Midlevel Income)

1. Actuary (+3) $94,209
2. Audiologist (+3) $71,133
3. Mathematician (-2) $102,182
4. Statistician (-1) $79,191
5. Biomedical Engineer (+7) $89,165
6. Data Scientist (N/A) $124,149
7. Dental Hygienist (-1) $71,102
8. Software Engineer (-1) $93,113
9. Occupational Therapist (no change) $77,114
10. Computer Systems Analyst (-2) $81,150

Worst Jobs of 2015 vs. How They Fared in 2014
200. Newspaper Reporter (-1) $36,267
199. Lumberjack (+1) $34,110
198. Enlisted Military Personnel (no change) $28,840
197. Cook (-2) $42,208
196. Broadcaster (no change) $55,380
195. Photojournalist (-9) $29,267
194. Corrections Officer (-3) $39,163
193. Taxi Driver (+4) $23,118
192. Firefighter (no change) $45,264
191. Mail Carrier (-7) $41,068

The thing is that I wouldn’t want to spend my life doing any of the Top 10 Best Jobs, while four of the Worst Jobs still have tremendous appeal to me. For those of you who worship metrics, here is some more scary data about being a reporter – including the breaking news that it is a stressful and unstable position:

newspaper reporter stats

When I was a kid, all the cool superheroes had journalism gigs for day jobs. Superman, Spider-Man, Green Hornet, Underdog (well, he was a newspaper delivery boy like me). If these superheroes were created today, they’d all be working as content marketing specialists or as social media managers.

Not that there is anything shameful about those jobs – some of my best friends work in content marketing – but I just can’t picture Clark Kent bragging about his click-through rate and Klout score to Lois Lane.

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Filed under Career Advice

My Mortgage Company Wished Me a Happy Birthday!

mortgage birthday wishes

My mortgage company just wished me a Happy Birthday in my “important messages” box.

The most heartwarming part? The Print This Page option so I can display their card on my refrigerator.

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Filed under Uncategorized