Not a Wacky Package satire! This was a real product sold in the real candy aisle of Target.
Every box of Zit Poppers candy contains 14 grams of protein! (Click to enlarge Nutrition Facts)
You know how “Showgirls” is allegedly a movie so bad that it’s good?*
Well, there’s no way this candy possibly can be like that.
In the age of nuclear waste candy and vomit-flavored jelly beans, Zit Poppers is just trying too hard to be offensive. This product was from a few Halloweens ago — vital pop culture research, you know — and recently resurfaced during some spring cleaning.
Luckily, the “Oozy Gushy Goo” did not leak out of the package.
No Chef Ghoulicious, you will NOT be the next Pillsbury Doughboy or Orville Redenbacher.
* As an aside, the real “bad” movie that actually is fantastic is Coyote Ugly! Trust me.
Darren Garnick's Culture Schlock 